A tear of sorrow,
sleepless nights,
nocturnal trips,
listening, thinking, watching,
always pressured by others
but never succumbing,
a chill in the night air
sending silent shivers,
the constant crash
of the waves,
while staring blankly
enveloped in the darkness
with thoughts of the past,
of an uncertain future,
all clouding the mind
bringing inner turmoil.

The mind's inner eye,
taking one back to a place,
to a time long ago,
to one much different,
one not constantly clouded
by introspection, by sorrow,
but one filled with peace,
inner harmony, balance,
one filled with laughter,
now watching the past
like a movie in slow motion,
playing in the mind,
bringing images of a place
a place once visited
in moments of sorrow.

What is it about this place?
Is it the wilderness,
the feeling of freedom,
of careless abandon,
the serenity of the desert,
allowing a spirit to run free,
to fly like an eagle,
soaring to new great heights,
yet ever watchful of all below.
Or is it the solitude offered there,
there amongst the sagebrush,
the mesquite, the cholla, the sajuaro,
here in a place unaltered by time,
a place to provide the healing,
the only place offering peace.

Take me back to this place,
leave me there, and let me think,
allow me the time to put things
into perspective, to put them behind me.
Allow me to send this sorrow
off on the winds of this canyon,
these haunting winds filled
with the voices of the spirits
which will always be here,
to forget, to become whole again.
Here is the place to find the right path,
the new path for a life to begin again.
The old life cannot continue -
it must be filed away
in the recesses of my mind.

To sit in this revery,
to replay events of the past,
to go to a place always in the mind,
to seek relief, to seek renewal,
this can happen any place,
because those you hold dear
are always with you
in your heart, your blood, your spirit,
in your every waking moment
whether you realize it or not.
So to turn to such a place is easy.
Just call on it and it will be there,
Fly away to the recesses of your mind
whether driving on the freeways
or sitting quietly at the beach.

Yes, the spirit must run free,
whether it be in that canyon,
at the beach, or in the city,
not clouded by past memories
or feelings that once consumed it,
but to live as one, work for others,
and forget the self, which is not important,
knowing the single life is how it will always be,
a destiny now realized. and accepted.
All that happens does for a reason,
even if it be the hurt, the injustice,
or the hateful actions of others,
but shall it ever become too unbearable,
I will walk into these ocean waves,
leaving behind everybody and everything.

A tear of sorrow,
an inner reflection,
a need to bring about change
a change for the good
which will erase this sorrow,
bring closure, one much needed,
so it will never show again.
Awake from this dream,
this dream of the past,
and learn to face the future.
And then again, this is the difficulty
to face this uncertain future.
But there is no other option
because without this change,
it is a life which is no life.

the wolf is my messenger